glitterburn: (SJM: Sungmin has a lil' clab)
We just watched Attack on the Pin-Up Boys and it was so deranged and hilarious - even before we started drinking! Because one should always drink and watch Pointless instead.

Now I really need to know if there is School President!Siwon/Little Minion!Wookie fic, because there should be. There really really should be. Just saying.

knackered

Jun. 7th, 2011 07:07 pm
glitterburn: (Default)
Back from our random excursion to Shropshire/Gloucestershire. An excursion made more random by a migraine following a night of no sleep (I am too old to share dorm rooms with strangers, especially when they snore all night) and a day of brilliant sunshine. So excursion got cut short and we spent a night at Mum's (she was in Cornwall) before we got a hotel in Tewkesbury before picking up our original plans of a night in Cheltenham. All very strange.

Saw X-Men: First Class, which is fab. Super slashiness between Charles/Erik. [livejournal.com profile] diagon was thrilled by the amount of slash. What a shame Charles was played by James McAvoy, who has all the personality and looks of a damp dish-rag. He really does nothing for me. What a shame. Still, it was a most enjoyable film.

On the way back we stopped in Birmingham so we could watch Senna. Brum is the closest cinema that's showing it until June 21, when it's on everywhere for one day only, so we will probably go and see it again. Absolutely fascinating footage from the drivers' briefings. Very emotional viewing.

Not sure if I'm going to attempt to crawl back through every LJ post, so if I've missed anything big, let me know.
glitterburn: (Default)
...is a not-very-good film that had the potential to be really good. It also had the potential to be the Romano-British Brokeback Mountain, but despite all the many, many slashy opportunities, it kind of failed because the Roman hero was a bad actor. Good-looking, though. His best scene was when he was mostly naked and covered from the flanks down with a fur. When required to actually do something, not so good.

Mark Strong was in the film for about ten minutes. [livejournal.com profile] diagon didn't recognise him. "Which one was he?" The beardy guy. "He looked really old!" Living in Dumfries does that to a man.

Popcorn bingo! Scoff a handful of popcorn every time the film makes a historical gaffe! Box finished by the end of the first fifteen minutes or so.

I kept thinking 'I'm sure the book was written in the 60s [actually it was 1954], but why haven't they updated the facts?'

Particular fail reserved for everything to do with Mithraism. Just... no.

Thank God for Orange Wednesday, duff films at only half the price.
glitterburn: (Andy: Crawl)
I'm feeling very tired and half asleep, just the frame of mind to watch a daft film. Shaolin! In which Andy Lau over-acts and Nicholas Tse over-acts and the gorgeous Yu Shao Qun (who played young!Mei Lei Fang in Forever Enthralled) is woefully underused and not nearly as pretty without his hair. Also, bonus Jackie Chan as the Shaolin chef. Ah Jackie, you'll never be as epic as your Chun Li moment in City Hunter.

Read more... )
glitterburn: (Default)
Thank you everyone who gave their opinions on 3D films. I would much rather see Green Hornet in 2D, but in order to do so I would have to drive 106 miles to get to the nearest cinema showing the thing in 2D, and though I like Jay Chou, I don't like him that much.

So it's 3D or DVD. Hmm.
glitterburn: (WHJ: gramaphone)
Somewhat bizarre evening of watching Street Angel (馬路天使), a Chinese Leftist film from 1937, followed by some weird crack with Mansai trapped in a blue balloon.

May go and watch The Green Hornet tomorrow. Just for Jay Chou. But the fact that it's in 3D and therefore much more expensive than a 2D film is kind of off-putting. Has anyone seen a 3D film recently? Are they irritating or an improvement on the cinematic experience?
glitterburn: (Default)
I have been watching my Christmas presents from [livejournal.com profile] diagon.

Sublime )

Ridiculous )
glitterburn: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] diagon and I have been watching (re-watching in [livejournal.com profile] diagon's case) The West Wing on and off over the last few months, and when we were in RHB The Sunday Times had an article about The Social Network and I noticed Aaron Sorkin wrote it. So I said, hey, let's go and see The Social Network just because Aaron Sorkin wrote it. Which is probably the first time I've ever gone to see a film specifically because of the writer.

I hate facebook. I have no interest in the inventors of facebook. The only reason I have heard of the Winkelvoss twins is because I watched the Oxford-Cambridge boat race. The only actor I recognised in the film was Justin Timberlake, who is not someone I find remotely interesting or attractive.

However! The Social Network is a brilliant, brilliant film - the acting, the structure, the dialogue, the timing, the themes, the score - everything. It was also very funny. Easily the best film I've seen this year.

During the interminable advertising was the trailer for The Green Hornet. I used to read the comics at my grandparents' house when I was about 7 (God knows why my grandparents had these comics - they were issues from the 60s and weren't sequential, so my reading was very random), and I always thought Kato was the coolest. So I was 'yay, Green Hornet... ugh who the hell is this ugly dork playing Britt Reid oh who cares Kato is kinda hot but is he hot enough for me to bother seeing this film'. Well, Kato is played by Jay Chou, so... I might go and see it. Maybe.
glitterburn: (Andy - Crawl)
I like Andy Lau. Not as much as I used to, but that's entirely to do with Andox and the fact that I think Andy lost his mind whilst filming Warlords. Anyway, I still like him and he has a really hot body for a 49-year-old, not that that sways my interest in any way oh no even though the films he's made since, er, Protégé in 2007 have been complete crap.

So it was with much yayness that I watched Detective Dee and the Preposterously Long Film Title, which is ridiculously good fun, has Andy looking hot and competent, and shows that Tsui Hark is still capable of making entertaining films.

Review with vague spoilers )

In conclusion: bonkers, fun, and entertaining. It's a wuxia version of The Mummy and Sherlock Holmes in Tang Dynasty costume and I enjoyed Andy's abs the film very much XD 8/10
glitterburn: (Mansai fingers)
MANSAI IS MAKING A FILM OMFG YES YES AT LAST AND OMFG IT'S SET IN THE SENGOKU PERIOD HE WILL WEAR HOT SEXY ROBES AND HAVE HOT SEXY HAIR AND AND AND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The film is called Nobou no Shiro (のぼうの城), based on a best-selling novel by Ryo Wada, which is also a manga. Mansai plays Narita Nagachika, commander of Oshi Castle, who with 500 retainers and more by luck than judgement saw off Toyotomi Hideyoshi's army of 20,000 soldiers.

Excessive googling reveals that in the book/manga, Nagachika is a bit daft and more interested in farming than fighting. He sounds pretty much like the kyogen character Tarokaja, actually. But presumably better dressed.

Also in the film: Koichi Sato (sensible chap who looks like the referee in the NZ v Paraguay match), Tomomitsu Yamaguchi (a comedian who appears to be the Japanese version of Eric Tseng), and Hiroki Narimiya (pretty and pouting, look here and here for HOT MOSTLY NEKKID PICS), who all play Nagachika's retainers. It's directed by Shinji Higuchi & Inudo Isshin. Filming begins in Hokkaido in August and the release date is sometime next year.

EEE! \o/
glitterburn: (Sherlock Holmes)
Just watched the first Iron Man film and discovered it was 24 minutes into watching it the first time on the plane when I switched it off and went for Kung Fu Panda. See now, if I'd left it a few minutes longer I'd have seen RDJ in a vest and probably would have watched for half an hour at least XD

I still think the expositional bit at the start is irrelevant and slows the forward momentum of the story, which (looking back on it) is why I ultimately switched off in 2008. Howeverrrr, I watched the rest of the film this time and actually, I think Iron Man 2 is better. Certainly in terms of Tony Stark's character. RDJ is a little too muted in the first one. Also, not enough Jarvis! Damn. I did squee at the mention of the Manhattan Project because my brain went off on a tangent of Manhattan Project-> Dr Manhattan -> Watchmen, and immediately had thoughts of Adrian Veidt/Tony Stark. Because this would be HAWT. Someone must have written this. Has anyone written this? Tell me they've written it!

Also: RDJ has really pretty eyes. Just thought I'd mention it.

Plus! I had most of my hair cut off today. It looks cool. Best haircut I've had in ages.

Shower then pub. Need to show off haircut.
glitterburn: (Takeshi - Wave your hands in the air)
Yesterday I went to the opticians and was told that the opticians in NZ had given me the wrong prescription. Considering I went back to the NZ optician and they'd re-tested my eyes (prescription 2 being wildly different to prescription 1), I find it staggering that they managed to get it wrong again. And also it's disturbing and rage-inducing, though it's made my left eye stronger to compensate for my failing right eye and the wrong bloody lenses.

My right eye is now sufficiently bad that I get free eye tests and a very small amount of money off the cost of the lenses. I'd rather pay for the test than have such crappy vision :/

After another week of painting accession numbers, I have RSI again.

Last night we went to see Angels & Demons for the laugh value. Cut for possible spoilers, not that it would make any difference )
glitterburn: (Takeshi - Wave your hands in the air)
So [livejournal.com profile] diagon and I went to see Watchmen this afternoon.

Thoughts )
glitterburn: (YSQ)
I wish I got Nectar points or something with YesAsia.

Red Cliff 2 is out in 10 days! *pre-orders*
Forever Enthralled is out in 20 days! *pre-orders*
Bargain TW super edition of The Good, The Bad & The Weird already out! *buys*

I have been assured that I can perv at Takeshi in leather trousers in Sleepless Town. YesAsia price (Japanese version only, no subtitles) costs a horrific US$65. What! For that price I want Takeshi to come round to my house wearing his leather trousers!

Back-up plan: Amazon re-seller, £5 for the HK version with English subtitles. Awesome.
glitterburn: (Cao Cao is in pain)
No, not the one with Jet Li and Tony LCW but the 1997 film with Takeshi in it.

Well. This is the funniest film I’ve seen in ages. I actually cried with laughter at some bits. Okay, it’s a Shaw Brothers film and Shaw Brothers = Purveyors of Cheese, but this is from 1997, not 1977! Not that you’d know it, because this is pretty much Shaw Bros paint-by-numbers. Woe for the fact that Adam didn’t turn up as one of the gangsters.

Takeshi goes from looking ridiculously hot to just ridiculous in the space of 0.4 seconds, but to be honest I was too busy laughing to care. He really, really looks like Andy’s character in Shanghai Grand (which was made in 1996) – same hairstyle, same little hawk nose, same clothes, even a scene where he goes bowling… all we need is for Takeshi’s character to make a puppet out of an old sock and he would be Andy Lau. Even the plot is remarkably similar to Shanghai Grand, with the exception that Hero doesn’t have Leslie in it, and one of the chief pleasures of Shanghai Grand is Leslie in the shower. Oh yes.

Actually, some of the fight sequences are pretty entertaining, even if I’ve seen better in Once Upon A Time In China. As a bonus, we get a random scene in a teahouse where Peking Opera is playing and the dan has a wtf moment. Later we get to see the same teahouse as patronised by Jet Li in every movie he’s ever made apart from Danny the Dog.

Takeshi has the best line: “Don’t pee on my gun.” Not quite in the same league as “You bastard, try this melon!” from Gunmen but an impressive line all the same.

EEEEEEE quotient: Very well-developed.
Anime Eyes: *shine shine shine*

Scene that made me laugh the most: Takeshi *headdesk*


Surely one of the most craptastic films I have ever seen. 2/10!
glitterburn: (ZL tortoise)
Long leather coat – check.
Leather fingerless gloves – check.
Stubble – check.
Artfully tousled hair with red streaks in it – check.
Cool shades – check.
Boots – check.
Lots of guns – check.
Hot motorbike – check.
Cars exploding – check.
Slo-mo action sequences – check.

Returner is a movie you watch with your libido and not your brain. I started trying to describe the plot here then realised how deranged it was. Never mind, I didn’t watch it for the plot.

Takeshi’s range of acting is as follows: frown, pout, look dumb, smile, boggle, frown, look tortured, frown, and EEEEEEE. Watching this shiny commercial piece of silliness made me even more impressed with what he did with Zhuge Liang. In Returner and Confession of Pain he’s a fairly middling actor; in RC he was simply amazing. Funny what a good script, a good director and an iconic character will do for a man’s acting ability.

Generic baddy is generic and hilariously over-acts, but that’s probably for the best as the dialogue is pretty dumb and the plot even worse. “It all makes perfect sense!” Takeshi chirps at one point, and I’d have to respectfully disagree with him on that. For all the cheese, however, it’s a pretty entertaining film. lovehkfilm did a better review of it than I ever could, but I will say this: Returner does exactly what it says on the tin – just under 2 hours of mindless fluff and Takeshi running around in a long leather coat. Unfortunately he doesn’t get into any leather trousers (why the hell not, Keanu Reeves did in The Matrix and Miyamoto seems to be a bargain basement Neo). My quest to see Takeshi in leather trousers and nothing else continues.

For all the leather and tight jeans and floppy hair, the one thing that sold me Takeshi’s character in this film was very minor – he wears a scraggy bracelet of old Chinese coins (part of his Lame Yet Tragic Backstory). This made me squee. Now I want to make my more knackered Tang Dynasty coins into a bracelet [randomly, as I was just looking at my coin collection I found the larger pieces I bought outside the temple in Huzhou – which I’m pretty sure are not coins but something to do with charms – and two of them have the eight trigrams on the reverse!].

maybe more than a hotel room thing )

The film gets 5/10 and Takeshi gets 9/10 for hotness. Would have been a 10 if he’d got himself some leather trousers.

March 2016

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