glitterburn: (Andy: Crawl)
I'm feeling very tired and half asleep, just the frame of mind to watch a daft film. Shaolin! In which Andy Lau over-acts and Nicholas Tse over-acts and the gorgeous Yu Shao Qun (who played young!Mei Lei Fang in Forever Enthralled) is woefully underused and not nearly as pretty without his hair. Also, bonus Jackie Chan as the Shaolin chef. Ah Jackie, you'll never be as epic as your Chun Li moment in City Hunter.

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glitterburn: (Andy - Crawl)
I like Andy Lau. Not as much as I used to, but that's entirely to do with Andox and the fact that I think Andy lost his mind whilst filming Warlords. Anyway, I still like him and he has a really hot body for a 49-year-old, not that that sways my interest in any way oh no even though the films he's made since, er, Protégé in 2007 have been complete crap.

So it was with much yayness that I watched Detective Dee and the Preposterously Long Film Title, which is ridiculously good fun, has Andy looking hot and competent, and shows that Tsui Hark is still capable of making entertaining films.

Review with vague spoilers )

In conclusion: bonkers, fun, and entertaining. It's a wuxia version of The Mummy and Sherlock Holmes in Tang Dynasty costume and I enjoyed Andy's abs the film very much XD 8/10
glitterburn: (Cao Cao is in pain)
No, not the one with Jet Li and Tony LCW but the 1997 film with Takeshi in it.

Well. This is the funniest film I’ve seen in ages. I actually cried with laughter at some bits. Okay, it’s a Shaw Brothers film and Shaw Brothers = Purveyors of Cheese, but this is from 1997, not 1977! Not that you’d know it, because this is pretty much Shaw Bros paint-by-numbers. Woe for the fact that Adam didn’t turn up as one of the gangsters.

Takeshi goes from looking ridiculously hot to just ridiculous in the space of 0.4 seconds, but to be honest I was too busy laughing to care. He really, really looks like Andy’s character in Shanghai Grand (which was made in 1996) – same hairstyle, same little hawk nose, same clothes, even a scene where he goes bowling… all we need is for Takeshi’s character to make a puppet out of an old sock and he would be Andy Lau. Even the plot is remarkably similar to Shanghai Grand, with the exception that Hero doesn’t have Leslie in it, and one of the chief pleasures of Shanghai Grand is Leslie in the shower. Oh yes.

Actually, some of the fight sequences are pretty entertaining, even if I’ve seen better in Once Upon A Time In China. As a bonus, we get a random scene in a teahouse where Peking Opera is playing and the dan has a wtf moment. Later we get to see the same teahouse as patronised by Jet Li in every movie he’s ever made apart from Danny the Dog.

Takeshi has the best line: “Don’t pee on my gun.” Not quite in the same league as “You bastard, try this melon!” from Gunmen but an impressive line all the same.

EEEEEEE quotient: Very well-developed.
Anime Eyes: *shine shine shine*

Scene that made me laugh the most: Takeshi *headdesk*


Surely one of the most craptastic films I have ever seen. 2/10!

March 2016

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